How to Support a Loved One Dealing with Substance Use

When someone you love is dealing with substance use disorder, it can be difficult to know how to support them in a meaningful way. Substance use is more common than many people realize; more than 20 million people in the United States have a substance use disorder. And while recovery is deeply personal, support from loved ones can be a powerful part of that journey. Learning how to offer care in a way that’s healthy for both of you is an important step.  

Understanding Substance Use Disorder

Substance use disorder (SUD) is a mental health condition involving consistent and dependent use of a substance (drugs, alcohol, etc.) that alters your health and quality of life. Many people may associate substance use disorder with drug addiction, but it can also involve alcohol or prescription medications. In fact, it’s common to have more than one substance problem at a time. However, alcohol misuse is the most common form of substance use disorder in the U.S.  

Signs of a substance use disorder may include:  

• A strong desire to use the substance
• Taking the substance in larger amounts or for longer than needed
• Trying to quit and being unable to stop
• Neglecting personal responsibilities, like work, school, or social life due to substance use  
• Experiencing withdrawal symptoms that are relieved by taking the substance

Left untreated, substance use can lead to serious health problems, including overdose and death. Recognizing the signs early and knowing when to seek emergency help for your loved one is crucial.  

Providing Support 

Supporting someone with a substance use disorder can be tricky. The goal is to be encouraging and helpful without enabling behaviors that may interfere with their recovery. It’s important to remember that addiction is a disease, not a weakness.  

Support can take many forms, and it often starts with a simple question: “How can I be there for you?” Letting your loved one know you're ready to listen without judgment or pressure can go a long way in building trust.

Many behavioral health experts — including SAMHSA and NAMI — emphasize the importance of open communication, setting clear boundaries, and caring for your own well-being.

Here are some ways you might offer meaningful support to your loved one:

• Listen openly. Give them space to talk and ask thoughtful questions but avoid pushing for details they’re not ready to share. 
• Offer to attend appointments or support meetings. Sometimes just being physically present shows how much you care.
• Help explore treatment options. If they express readiness, you can support them in taking that step — without taking over.
• Spend time together in ways that feel good. Suggesting a walk, a creative project, or another healthy activity can help them reconnect with things that bring joy.
• Know where to turn in a crisis. If you are concerned about an overdose or mental health crisis, don’t hesitate to call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.  

Caring for Yourself

Supporting a loved one through recovery can be emotionally exhausting, but your well-being matters, too. Prioritizing your own mental health is essential, not just for them, but for you.

Set Boundaries

You may feel guilty when you start setting boundaries, but boundaries can protect you and your loved one from harmful situations. Clear boundaries also set expectations for both parties. 

Create Your Own Support System

Experiencing the secondhand effects of addiction can have traumatic effects on you and other members of your family, too. Therapy can help you talk privately without judgment to help you process what you have experienced. Many families can find relief from Al-Anon or Families Anonymous to meet with people facing similar situations. If you have children, consider professional counseling for them as well. The stress of living with addiction, even indirectly, can affect them in lasting ways. A safe place to talk with a therapist can be beneficial to their growth and development.  

Make Time for Self-Care 

Sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise are not luxuries. Find time to care for yourself, even in simple ways like eating a good meal and taking a walk. Stepping away from the intensity of caring for a loved one with substance use disorder doesn’t mean you are giving up on them. It allows you to continue to show up in a sustainable and healthy way.  

Compass Rose Substance Use Treatment and Benefits 

You’re not alone in supporting a loved one through substance use or recovery. The Compass Rose Health Plan offers support, care, and benefits for members dealing with substance use disorders — every step of the way. We can help with:

• Understanding your benefits and finding treatment options within your plan’s network, including outpatient programs, inpatient care, counseling, and medication-assisted treatment (MAT). Learn about your benefits and coverage in our FEHB Plan Brochure.
• Connecting you to behavioral health providers who specialize in substance use and recovery support. Search our behavioral health directory to find in-network licensed therapists, counselors, and specialists. or meet virtually with a provider through Doctor On Demand®.
• Accessing covered mental health services for members who are caring for a loved one or feeling overwhelmed by someone’s substance use.
• Offering an extra layer of support through Compass Rose Living Well for help navigating substance use concerns.

If you’re not sure where to start, reach out. We’re here to help you take the next step — for yourself or someone you care about.